Stanley and James – The Guyliner

Earlier mentioned are our hottest contestants, Stanley, 26, who is effective in manner (portion-time, I suppose), and James, 30, who functions in a bookshop. A enjoyable transform from the normal ‘senior government model forecasting manager’ or ‘marketing and facts services deputy analyst’ or what ever else LinkedIn tends to throw at us.

Study the comprehensive account of the day on the Guardian web-site and then return below for some quite in-depth analysis of whatsoever they’re likely on about.

Stanley on James | James on Stanley

What had been you hoping for?
The opportunity to say I’d attempted every thing before I retire to a everyday living of spinsterdom.

I’d most likely give heroin and the fourth collection of Killing Eve a pass up nevertheless, Stanley.

What were you hoping for?
Attraction, participating conversation and good foodstuff.

1st impressions?
Warm and participating.

Another ‘engaging’ from James and we’re only two answers in. James is a quarter PowerPoint presentation on his grandmother’s side.

What did you chat about?
I spoke about the fashion business and we determined parallels with his get the job done. I moaned about cryptocurrency and he told me the plot of his favorite opera.

His desire in style. Galliano’s household furnishings. My pursuits in historic Greek literature and my favorite translation of Homer. Household fragmentation. Our lives in London.

Fashion ✅ – Am fascinated by the parallels involving the manner sector and the publishing planet, nevertheless also have a emotion I never want to know them.

Cryptocurrency – Let us never ever talk about this once more.

Galliano’s household furnishings – Not even going to bother Googling this, but did you SEE that piece about Lily Allen and her husband’s property that all people was fawning over for the reason that of its allegedly astounding interior style and design? It would be like residing in the Sylvanian Family members house! Every migraine I’d ever experienced convened for an AGM within just seconds of me starting to seem at it.

He advised me the plot of his favorite opera – I’m imagining Stanley indicating this as if examining it off a card in his individual own Area 101.

My interests in historic Greek literature and my favourite translation of Homer – 

Okay so I’m guessing the bookshop James operates in is a minor extra highbrow than individuals kinds the place you weigh the textbooks on a major scale and pay out according to how hefty the books are (a staple of late ’90s, early ’00s beleaguered substantial streets)

Most awkward minute?
There were being silences that were a touch much too prolonged. I accused him of lying about a famed Ukrainian ballet dancer getting a Putin tattoo.

The tattoo detail is real. And I can listen to those people silences from in this article. They are achieving out by way of time and grabbing me by the throat.

Fantastic table manners?
No notes! It felt like Girl and the Tramp, as he was so perfectly mannered while I experienced a lap total of crumbs. He was awesome to the cafe personnel, as well.

Spoiler: Tramp receives Girl expecting at the close of that film I unquestionably can’t see anything even approaching that going on below.

I was heading to say a bonus place for currently being pleasant to cafe staff in this article but then realised you should not get praise for executing the very basic good point, even so, so number of persons are good to waiters, it’s absurd.

Great desk manners?
Impeccable – could not have asked for additional.

Couldn’t have questioned for far more what? More desk manners?

Ideal detail about James?
He does not waste vitality on matters that never make him content.

Like, uh, this day it’s possible? I’m acquiring this a bit like my favorite translation of Homer – challenging to fathom.

Very best detail about Stanley?
He appeared truly intrigued in my background and didn’t have an edge.

He didn’t have an edge? Stanley is… a Rich Tea biscuit?

Describe James in a few phrases.
Clever, relaxed, laconic.

Clever, like that a single particular person in your place of work who you all think most likely wished to be a linguistics professor or anything but a cruel twist of destiny left them as 2nd assistant admin govt in a mid-range PR enterprise. They mentally suitable the grammar in the pathetic e-mails you deliver them and assume your boyfriend could do superior.
Relaxed, like Catherine Zeta-Jones patiently waiting around for her title to be named out at the 2003 Oscars.
LACONIC – now this may possibly be a initially for this one. How enjoyable. LACONIC, like an individual who is not, sadly, remotely fascinated in you romantically at any time since you confessed your favourite guide was the Fifty Shades 1 advised from Christian’s viewpoint.

Explain Stanley in a few words.
Affable, inquisitive, trustworthy.

AFFABLE, like you could possibly say about the just one neighbour on your tasteful cul-de-sac that you never want to destroy.
INQUISITIVE, like a grandchild who’s been suspiciously peaceful for the last twenty minutes and then will come back downstairs expressing, ‘Grandad will you play capture with me with this humorous tiny ball?’ clutching your 2nd-finest ball-gag.
Honest, like I’m likely to be now: I truly feel like paint observing these two dry.*

*I have nicked this joke from someplace but simply cannot don’t forget wherever. If it’s yours, say hi!

What do you assume James made of you?
It was difficult to explain to: he gave pretty little away.

But at minimum you will not die asking yourself which was his favourite translation of Homer.

What do you consider Stanley manufactured of you?
I’m not confident. It may perhaps have been to do with my lack of an accent or that he appreciated my shirt.

James’s responses feel like they’ve been edited by a ChatBot. I retain dropping my thread. What may possibly have been to do with your absence of accent? FYI: you have an accent.

Did you go on someplace?
I could not think of wherever to get a sober man or woman on a Friday night time in Soho.

You can take them any where, Stanley. They are authorized in most places. Bars, even. As considerably as I know, bouncers don’t check out your blood alcohol amounts on your way into a area and turn you away if you’re not 45% Bacardi Breezer (RIP). But Stanley has a issue right here in that Friday evening in Soho is full of drunk people today and when that is fantastic, if you have not had alcohol or edibles or hoofed anything up your nose, you have a tendency to uncover drunk persons a minor, uh, hard to be close to. Cinderella did not go away the ball early just due to the fact the clock struck midnight, you know, the Prince was 6 pints of Madri down and had begun to convey to her about a bike he was performing up with some blokes he achieved down the health club and how significantly prettier she’d be without the need of make-up.

Marks out of 10?
Not a lover of ratings, but he enable me try his lemon sorbet so I’ll give a huge thumbs up.

Not a lover of Pizza? Stay away from Domino’s. Not a lover of puppies? Crufts is not for you. Not a lover of ratings? Please do not use to go on a Guardian Blind Day exactly where the complete point is to fee the individual/night/shrimp starter out of 10. It is like receiving on a airplane and declaring, seconds right after takeoff, ‘HEY, I didn’t realise this detail was essentially heading to go away the ground, wtf?’

I will interpret this score as a

7

Thank you.

8

This feels like a 7 adjusted to an 8 a number of seconds right before James hit ‘send’ on the e mail.

Would you satisfy once again?
Most likely in a different placing. I felt James might be extra suited to a espresso store or the opera than central London on a Friday night.

I’d be delighted to dangle out.

Nicely, I wish them equally a charming time, anywhere their upcoming assembly will take location (ice skating in the depths of hell, I predict).

 

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A little something to bear in mind about the assessment and the daters that I set at the finish of each and every review

The feedback I make are primarily based on answers supplied by members. The Guardian chooses what to publish and generally edits solutions to make the column do the job greater on the webpage. Most factors I say are riffing on the responses offered and not judgements about the daters themselves, so please be sort to them in feedback, replies, and frequently on social media. Daters are under no obligation to get together for our reward, or make clear why they do, or don’t, want to see every other yet again, so make sure you try not to speculate or fill our feeds with loathe. If you’re 1 of the daters, get in touch if you want to give me your facet of the tale. Or regardless of what your favourite translation of this date is. 

Stanley and James ate at Barrafina, London WC2. Fancy a blind day? E-mail [email protected]

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