{"id":1090,"date":"2023-05-27T19:27:46","date_gmt":"2023-05-27T13:57:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/scotlandescort.co.uk\/blog\/zula-and-leyla-the-guyliner\/"},"modified":"2023-05-27T19:27:46","modified_gmt":"2023-05-27T13:57:46","slug":"zula-and-leyla-the-guyliner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scotlandescort.co.uk\/blog\/zula-and-leyla-the-guyliner\/","title":{"rendered":"Zula and Leyla \u2013 The Guyliner"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> [ad_1]<br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div itemprop=\"articleBody\">\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Spring is finally fighting its way through, but if you miss the endless chill of the first four months of 2023, I have some good news \u2013 today\u2019s Guardian Blind Date has a thin layer of frost, much like those long forgotten soya bean cutlets you found at the back of the freezer and chucked on the barbecue anyway.<\/p>\n<p>But before we come to that: a public service announcement. The paperback of my third novel THE FAKE-UP is out now and you can buy it wherever you like to get your books. Support your local bookshops, please, because they are run by lovely people, but if you\u2019ve been barred from your local bookseller for \u2018an incident\u2019, you can also find it on <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/uk.bookshop.org\/a\/1243\/9780751583496\">Bookshop.org<\/a> (which supports indie booksellers), <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bertsbooks.co.uk\/product\/the-fake-up\/\">Bert\u2019s Books<\/a>, <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.waterstones.com\/book\/the-fake-up\/justin-myers\/9780751583496\">Waterstones<\/a>, <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.foyles.co.uk\/book\/the-fake-up\/justin-myers\/9780751583496\">Foyle\u2019s<\/a>, and <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3BZvWgk\">Amazon<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3WyRLgl\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"11698\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/theguyliner.com\/impeccable\/zula-and-leyla\/attachment\/the-fake-up-pb-a-banner1\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/The-Fake-Up-PB-A-Banner1.png?fit=970%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"970,300\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;\" data-image-title=\"The Fake Up PB A+ Banner1\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/The-Fake-Up-PB-A-Banner1.png?fit=300%2C93&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/The-Fake-Up-PB-A-Banner1.png?fit=970%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-11698\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/The-Fake-Up-PB-A-Banner1.png?resize=600%2C186&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"The world thinks they're single but they're living double lives\" width=\"600\" height=\"186\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/The-Fake-Up-PB-A-Banner1.png?w=970&amp;ssl=1 970w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/The-Fake-Up-PB-A-Banner1.png?resize=300%2C93&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/The-Fake-Up-PB-A-Banner1.png?resize=768%2C238&amp;ssl=1 768w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\"\/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>(<a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/3MxlzFs\">The Kindle version is 99p<\/a> for the next few days too.) Please do buy it \u2013 it helps me have what my parents begrudgingly call \u2018a career\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>Right, on with the show. As Pride Month approaches, we\u2019ve got Zula, 32, and a photographer and lecturer, and Leyla, 27, a communications worker and art curator. They both seem to have two jobs. This is how it is now, I suppose. Either one job alone doesn\u2019t pay enough, or the world expects you to be hustling nonstop from the minute your phone alarm pings in the morning to the second the same phone drops onto your face because you fell asleep scrolling at midnight, so you feel guilty if you don\u2019t have multiple metiers and aren\u2019t constantly creating. Recently, I\u2019ve noticed a slight increase in people telling me what job they think I should do \u2013 standup comedian being one of them, which is ridiculous, I have never intentionally made a joke in my LIFE and all my best quips are insults \u2013 and I find myself stating the bleeding obvious: I\u2019ve got a sodding job, I\u2019m a writer. How many hours in a day do you think I have ffs? Anyway, behold our multi-hyphenates:<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_11697\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-11697\" style=\"width: 350px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Zula-leyla-full.png?ssl=1\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"11697\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/theguyliner.com\/impeccable\/zula-and-leyla\/attachment\/zula-leyla-full\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Zula-leyla-full.png?fit=350%2C476&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"350,476\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;\" data-image-title=\"Zula leyla full\" data-image-description=\"&lt;p&gt;Photograph: Sophia Evans\/David Levene\/The Guardian&lt;\/p&gt;&#10;\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Zula-leyla-full.png?fit=221%2C300&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Zula-leyla-full.png?fit=350%2C476&amp;ssl=1\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-11697 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Zula-leyla-full.png?resize=350%2C476&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"Zula has v short dark hair and is wearing a patterned shacket and black skinny jeans with boots; Leila has dark hair tied up and is wearing a long green dress and black trainers\" width=\"350\" height=\"476\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Zula-leyla-full.png?w=350&amp;ssl=1 350w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Zula-leyla-full.png?resize=221%2C300&amp;ssl=1 221w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 350px) 100vw, 350px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\"\/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-11697\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photograph: Sophia Evans\/David Levene\/The Guardian<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/bit.ly\/3BZwm6o\">Read what happened in full on the Guardian website<\/a> before returning here for the real talk.<\/p>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #976250;\">Zula<\/span> | <span style=\"color: #35a773;\">Leyla<\/span><\/h5>\n<h5>First impressions?<br \/><span style=\"color: #97775b;\">I was early, so walked up and down the street to not look too keen. When I went in, Leyla was already nursing a glass of wine, and we both laughed about being super early. I should\u2019ve gone straight in.<\/span><\/h5>\n<p>God I am early for everything and it\u2019s the bane of my life. If it\u2019s true that your life does flash before your eyes, I\u2019m pretty sure a large chunk of my greatest hits will be reels of footage of me walking round the block or ambling around Sainsbury\u2019s Locals trying to kill time so I don\u2019t look like the keenest bitch on the planet. I cannot do late, I just can\u2019t, it\u2019s ugly, it\u2019s horrifying, unless\u2026 unless\u2026 and this is a very strange phenomenon, unless I am going somewhere very nearby, say somewhere ten minutes from my house. I will misjudge this hugely and end up rushing there \u2013 I arrived at a hospital appointment the other day heaving breathlessly as if I\u2019d just done the Royal Parks Half in full army fatigues \u2013 and even if I get up and ready in plenty of time, I will end up late (by about a minute, but as I always say, if you arrive bang on time, you\u2019re LATE). Anyway this is as decent an icebreaker as you\u2019re likely to get this side of a company away day.<\/p>\n<h5>First impressions?<br \/><span style=\"color: #35a773;\">Warm with good energy.<\/span><\/h5>\n<p>Instead of answering this question, Leyla has accidentally pasted in her review of the Dimplex ML3TSFTie7 3kW Turbo Convector Heater, which she meant to leave on the Argos website.<\/p>\n<h5>Most awkward moment?<br \/><span style=\"color: #97775b;\">Leyla asked if I\u2019d Googled her before the date. I said of course I had, but hadn\u2019t found much \u2013 she told me I was lying.<\/span><\/h5>\n<figure id=\"attachment_11700\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-11700\" style=\"width: 400px\" class=\"wp-caption alignnone\"><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/IMG_5556.jpg?ssl=1\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"11700\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/theguyliner.com\/impeccable\/zula-and-leyla\/attachment\/img_5556\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/IMG_5556.jpg?fit=2048%2C1152&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"2048,1152\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1685129745&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;\" data-image-title=\"IMG_5556\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;ITV&lt;\/p&gt;&#10;\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/IMG_5556.jpg?fit=300%2C169&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/IMG_5556.jpg?fit=1024%2C576&amp;ssl=1\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-11700\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/IMG_5556.jpg?resize=400%2C225&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"Blanche from Coronation Street peers out of her window\" width=\"400\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/IMG_5556.jpg?resize=1024%2C576&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/IMG_5556.jpg?resize=300%2C169&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/IMG_5556.jpg?resize=768%2C432&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/IMG_5556.jpg?resize=1536%2C864&amp;ssl=1 1536w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/IMG_5556.jpg?w=2048&amp;ssl=1 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\"\/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-11700\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">ITV<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>It\u2019s the \u2018of course\u2019 for me. I mean\u2026 I am a good fifteen years older than Zula so I was romantically active before the internet was a big thing (I say \u2018active\u2019; dormant might be more apt a term), and thus Googling to me feels like something you should still pretend you didn\u2019t do. Like, we all do it, but it\u2019s best to let someone reveal themselves to you. And if you don\u2019t Google someone before you meet them, you definitely should. They say Instagram is only the nice stuff that people want to present but that doesn\u2019t make it any less eye-opening. Bad opinions, racist tattoos, and dodgy friends\u2026 it\u2019s all there. And if it\u2019s a locked account? \ud83d\ude2c<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, even if Zula had pretended she hadn\u2019t googled her, Leyla wouldn\u2019t have believed her. Now I can\u2019t help but wonder what Zula did find, why she might say she didn\u2019t, and\/or what did Leyla expect her to find, and why did she say Zula was lying? Is she \u2018someone\u2019? I\u2019m afraid I have places to be so I won\u2019t be Googling either of them myself. The one downside of pre-meeting Googling \u2013 or conference call Googling, which I constantly did while stuck on work calls \u2013 is that often the one thing you find about someone is that they are, sadly, a boring shite.<\/p>\n<h5>Most awkward moment?<br \/><span style=\"color: #35a773;\">It was quite a busy night in the restaurant and I\u2019m kind of deaf. There\u2019s only so many times you can ask someone to repeat themselves from across the table.<\/span><\/h5>\n<p>Oh this is me. Well, almost. I don\u2019t think I\u2019m going deaf \u2013 I went to have this checked out because I was constantly asking people to repeat themselves, but everything was fine \u2013 but I do find myself feeling very lost in noisy bars and restaurants now. It\u2019s usually down to the acoustics (I tell myself) and now that I am older, my tolerance levels for the joyful shrieking and hyena laughs that ring off the walls on nights out has sunk way too low. It seems to have gone hand in hand with my desire for a seat, which would\u2019ve been ANATHEMA to the younger me. If you\u2019re sitting down, you\u2019re tired, go home; I\u2019d rather have done star jumps in barbed-wire underpants than sit down in a bar or club when I was in my twenties and thirties. Now, I stand up for two hours and my lower back starts pneumatic drilling and my knees decide there\u2019s never been a better time to crumble to dust. Interviews with famous (rich) people that bang on and on about how great getting older is \u2013 \u2018I feel so much wiser now!\u2019 \u2018I just don\u2019t care anymore! I feel so free!\u2019 conveniently ignore the impracticalities of ageing, and just how quickly the independence of youth is whipped away from you. And I am relatively fit and healthy!<\/p>\n<p>Something for you to look forward to there.<\/p>\n<h5>Would you introduce Leyla to your friends?<br \/><span style=\"color: #97775b;\">For sure \u2013 she is nice and easygoing \u2013 but not in a romantic sense.<\/span><\/h5>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #35a773;\">She\u2019s super open so I\u2019m sure she\u2019d get on with anyone, but only as a pal.<\/span><\/h5>\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/jack-dead-2.gif?ssl=1\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"2473\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/theguyliner.com\/impeccable\/maverick-and-sandra\/attachment\/jack-dead-2\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/jack-dead-2.gif?fit=500%2C220&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"500,220\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;\" data-image-title=\"Jack-dead-2\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/jack-dead-2.gif?fit=300%2C132&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/jack-dead-2.gif?fit=500%2C220&amp;ssl=1\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-2473\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/jack-dead-2.gif?resize=500%2C220&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"Jack is de\" width=\"500\" height=\"220\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\"\/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Brrrrrr. I mean, we have questions later on SPECIFICALLY to elicit the friendzoning, but Zula and Leyla have sent someone ahead with the details so we don\u2019t need to get our hopes up.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, as I am always saying (to people who never agree with me), friendships are much harder to forge than romantic relationships so if they have made a friend here then it\u2019s all to the good.<\/p>\n<p>Okay, next answer where it gets REALLY confusing.<\/p>\n<h5>Did you go on somewhere?<br \/><span style=\"color: #97775b;\">No, Leyla ended up leaving after we finished our mains. I confess that I stayed behind and ordered an incredible slice of pistachio tiramisu.<\/span><\/h5>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #35a773;\">No, I suggested going for a drink but wisely we didn\u2019t, as we both had work the next day.<\/span><\/h5>\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/jb_what_happening.gif?ssl=1\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"6289\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/theguyliner.com\/impeccable\/valerio-and-matt\/attachment\/jb_what_happening\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/jb_what_happening.gif?fit=500%2C222&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"500,222\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;\" data-image-title=\"jb_what_happening\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/jb_what_happening.gif?fit=300%2C133&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/jb_what_happening.gif?fit=500%2C222&amp;ssl=1\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-6289\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/jb_what_happening.gif?resize=500%2C222&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"Justin Bieber saying what is happening\" width=\"500\" height=\"222\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\"\/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>So\u2026 Leyla suggested going for a drink but left after the main? And\u2026 rather than walk her out, Zula stayed and had the tiramisu? Wh\u2014what? How does that work? Did Leyla know Zula was staying behind and decide to leave her to it?<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t like putting words in the participants\u2019 mouths, but it feels to me like a \u2018cards on the table\u2019 moment was reached \u2013 that Leyla maybe suggested a drink out of politeness, but Zula saw no point, and offered Leyla the opportunity to parachute out, before availing herself of the free pudding. What you have to understand is that, unlike heterosexual dates, there is much less pissing about among the rainbow crew. Maybe it\u2019s a hangover from having to put our trust in each other when homosexuality was still illegal and dating was a furtive, dangerous act. We can be direct, we\u2019re maybe less concerned about conserving fragile egos (although gay men\u2026 eeeeesh, what can I say) and we are happier to release someone\/walk away smiling and wish them well on whatever comes next.<\/p>\n<p>Unless\u2026 something else happened. Something big.<\/p>\n<p>Pistachio tiramisu, though. Sounds RANK.<\/p>\n<h5>If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?<br \/><span style=\"color: #35a773;\">It was nice to meet Zula but there was no connection.<\/span><\/h5>\n<p>And there we go.<\/p>\n<h5>Marks out of 10?<br \/><span style=\"color: #97775b;\">7.<\/span><\/h5>\n<h5><span style=\"color: #35a773;\">6.<\/span><\/h5>\n<p>A 13 in total. Not exactly a flaming hot score in the compatibility stakes \u2013 although probably still a better match than Charles and Di \u2013 but maybe they can meet up one day, once they\u2019ve had a proper Google.<\/p>\n<h5>Did you like this?<\/h5>\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/ko-fi.com\/L3L117O2T\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"border: 0px; height: 36px;\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/storage.ko-fi.com\/cdn\/kofi4.png?fit=1200%2C36&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com\" height=\"36\" border=\"0\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\"\/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"btn shortcode-btn is-round\" href=\"https:\/\/theguyliner.substack.com\/\"> Subscribe to my Substack<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/theguyliner.substack.com\/p\/the-truth-about-gwynnie-joanie-and\">The most recent post was about the bizarre captions Gwyneth Paltrow\u2019s husband writes about her on Instagram<\/a>, and celebrates Dame Joan at 90, and it is, I have to say, my funniest in a long while! Subscribe! It\u2019s mainly free!<\/p>\n<p><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/theguyliner.substack.com\/p\/the-truth-about-gwynnie-joanie-and\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"11702\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/theguyliner.com\/impeccable\/zula-and-leyla\/attachment\/screenshot-2023-05-27-at-11-48-41\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Screenshot-2023-05-27-at-11.48.41.png?fit=1330%2C368&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"1330,368\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;\" data-image-title=\"Screenshot 2023-05-27 at 11.48.41\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Screenshot-2023-05-27-at-11.48.41.png?fit=300%2C83&amp;ssl=1\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Screenshot-2023-05-27-at-11.48.41.png?fit=1024%2C283&amp;ssl=1\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-11702 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Screenshot-2023-05-27-at-11.48.41.png?resize=1024%2C283&amp;ssl=1\" alt=\"Because, dear reader, there is uxorious, and there\u2019s the all-consuming deification Brad Falchuk bestows upon his wife, who just happens to be bone broth\u2019s leading spokesguru Gwyneth Paltrow. Falchuk, writer of American Horror Story and other prestige stuff I watch one episode of before flicking back to 30 Rock or vintage eps of Corrie, has been married to Gwyneth since 2018, and seems utterly mesmerised by her. Perhaps he\u2019s under the enchantment of the scent of her controversial candles, or maybe she\u2019s just great to be around, but Falchuk\u2019s Instagram captions for her birthday are written with the devout reverence usually reserved for elderly gay men sending perfumed notelets to Liza Minnelli\u2019s agent.\" width=\"1024\" height=\"283\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Screenshot-2023-05-27-at-11.48.41.png?resize=1024%2C283&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Screenshot-2023-05-27-at-11.48.41.png?resize=300%2C83&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Screenshot-2023-05-27-at-11.48.41.png?resize=768%2C212&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/Screenshot-2023-05-27-at-11.48.41.png?w=1330&amp;ssl=1 1330w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\"\/><\/a><\/p>\n<h5>Something to remember about the review and the daters that I put at the end of every review<\/h5>\n<p><i>The comments I make are based on answers given by participants. The Guardian chooses what to publish and usually edits answers to make the column work better on the page. Most things I say are riffing on the answers given and not judgements about the daters themselves, so please be kind to them in comments, replies, and generally on social media. Daters are under no obligation to get along for our benefit, or explain why they do, or don\u2019t, want to see each other again, so please try not to speculate or fill our feeds with hate. If you\u2019re one of the daters, <\/i><em><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"font-style: italic;\" href=\"https:\/\/theguyliner.com\/contact\">get in touch<\/a><\/em><i>\u00a0if you want to give me your side of the story.\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n<p><em>Zula and Leyla ate at <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/firebirdlondon.co.uk\/\" data-link-name=\"in body link\">Firebird<\/a>, London W1. Fancy a blind date? Email <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/theguyliner.com\/impeccable\/mailto:%20blind.date@theguardian.com\" data-link-name=\"in body link \" https:=\"\">blind.date@theguardian.com<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n<div class=\"sharedaddy sd-block sd-like jetpack-likes-widget-wrapper jetpack-likes-widget-unloaded\" id=\"like-post-wrapper-138388328-11695-64720630efc84\" data-src=\"https:\/\/widgets.wp.com\/likes\/#blog_id=138388328&amp;post_id=11695&amp;origin=theguyliner.com&amp;obj_id=138388328-11695-64720630efc84\" data-name=\"like-post-frame-138388328-11695-64720630efc84\" data-title=\"Like or Reblog\">\n<h3 class=\"sd-title\">Like this:<\/h3>\n<p><span class=\"button\"><span>Like<\/span><\/span> <span class=\"loading\">Loading&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"sd-text-color\"\/><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"sd-link-color\"><\/div>\n<p><h3 class=\"jp-relatedposts-headline\"><em>Related<\/em><\/h3>\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>[ad_2]<br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/theguyliner.com\/impeccable\/zula-and-leyla\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[ad_1] \u00a0 Spring is finally fighting its way through, but if you miss the endless chill of the first four months of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1091,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1090","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adult-dating"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.5 (Yoast SEO v27.7) - 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