December rain. Not as bad as January rain, or maybe even November rain, but bad enough. There\u2019s something miserable and uncivilised about Christmas shopping in a downpour, especially now all the shops give you paper carrier bags, which disintegrate before you get even 20 metres away from Boots, sending all your Frizz-Ease and Dulcolax tumbling into the kerb.<\/p>\n
Lucky then, that bringing sunshine to the last two weeks before tinsel starts to get on your nerves are Peter, 26, who works in film and TV (no actual job title, which is both mysterious and a refreshing change from the usual parade of LinkedIn speak we get here) and Nick, 30, a human rights charity project manager. Lots to talk about, I\u2019m sure, perhaps starting with how they both have necklaces on \u2013 a sign of compatibility or perhaps a fixation on Paul Mescal? Who can say?<\/p>\n Read what happened on the date on the Guardian website<\/a> and then reconvene here for some choice highlights.<\/p>\n Isn\u2019t it funny how dating apps were invented as a solution and have now become the problem? Rather than revolutionise the way we date and find a supposed soulmate (RIP Guardian Soulmates I wanna run to u, thank you for all the twee dates and disappointing sex<\/em>), dating apps have become the Jurassic Park of romance \u2013 just because we could, it doesn\u2019t mean we should.<\/p>\n All very good answers and it\u2019s nice to get a compliment on a smile but if I had a GREAT JUMPER on, that\u2019s exactly what I\u2019d want the date to say. My eyes, my smile, my hair, whatever \u2013 that\u2019s DNA, bestowed upon me \u2013 but my GREAT JUMPER (always capitalise fantastic clothing) is my choice, my taste, says much more about me than the freckles that have peppered my family\u2019s skin for generations. GREAT JUMPER. Thanks. Thanks<\/em>. It was really cheap and it\u2019s years old\u2026 oh why do I have to ruin a compliment every time?<\/p>\n Sugababes\/girl bands<\/strong> \u2705 \u2013 Oh Sugababes. How great they are. I interviewed them once. Can you imagine. Mutya is the most charismatic, mesmerising person ever, yet she only said about seven words. But every one of them was golden. Before I switched to streaming, \u2018Push The Button\u2019 was the most played song on my iTunes. \u2018Freak Like Me\u2019 probably second.<\/p>\n Queer culture and the \u201cdrag race-ification\u201d of language<\/strong> \u2013 No word on whether they approve or disapprove of the apparent drag race-ification of language. I\u2019m a writer, I like how language evolves and love hearing new words or interesting developments in slang \u2013 even if I don\u2019t use them myself, I\u2019m pretty fond of my own writing voice anyway and am cautious when it comes to adapting turns of phrase. Drag Race<\/em> language, like that of internet stan culture, borrows heavily from AAVE (African American Vernacular English) and the original drag ballroom scene, so sometimes it can sound a little strange coming from a 23-year-old sales manager from Sidcup who has never so much as added pepper to their roast chicken. I have no opinion really on Drag Race<\/em>\u2018s impact other than when I went to the Madonna concert, a man in his 30s was sitting behind me screaming \u201cMOTHER IS MOTHERING\u201d and \u201cYES BITCH\u201d at her throughout and I really wanted him to stop. (I didn\u2019t say anything, I just let him get on with having a good time. He did get tired eventually.)<\/p>\n Surely by the big old age of 30 you\u2019ve idly checked out the menu taped to the outside of a branch of The Real Greek?!<\/p>\n This is nice. I do start to worry if I am always \u2018present\u2019 in conversations; it seems to be a requirement these days. Do people know that while I am listening to what they\u2019re saying, I am also composing email replies in my head, wondering what to have for dinner a week next Tuesday, and mentally packing my suitcase for my next break away.<\/p>\n Confidence and humour? Sure, great, A+. An affection for Sugababes? Call a preacher, grab your tux or a white floaty dress and go stand in a room full of people you are obliged to invite and get married! I could write an essay on why Sugababes are the most wonderful thing in pop (and maybe I will one day, you have been warned) but instead I will say that someone liking them is a very good sign that they are a good person who appreciates pop at its most magical.<\/p>\n As you may know, I have a weekly newsletter, The truth about everything*<\/em> and I will be picking one (1) subscriber at random to receive an advance copy of my new novel which doesn\u2019t come out until Spring 2024. If you want to be in with a chance, sign up before 08:00 on Wednesday 13 December, here: newsletter.theguyliner.com<\/a>. You don\u2019t have to be a paid subscriber to be in with a shot. If you already subscribe, you\u2019re already in.<\/p>\n Thanks!<\/p>\n WARM<\/strong>, like the big Primark throw you have to chuck over yourself every time you stand still in your own house because you just got an email from EDF telling you that electricity is now more expensive per unit than the top tier VIP packages on the Eras Tour. CONFIDENT,<\/strong> like the government. I mean, the brass neck! The levels of horror! That basement of immorality is being extended down to hell so fast that the descending lift can barely keep up. UGH. I wonder how they knew? I suppose you can always tell someone who gets a good night\u2019s sleep; they don\u2019t tremble as they lift their wine glass or sit, head propped up on one hand, elbow on the table and go \u201ccoooooool\u201d after everything you say. I am an earplugs guy myself. The slightest noise and I am bolt upright, wide awake.<\/p>\n CONFIRMED.<\/p>\n I know I have said this many times before, but I want answers like this banned. I want the Guardian to phone them back and say \u201cChilli butter? Chilli sodding butter? That the best you got? You realise this is going in a magazine, it\u2019s not a post on Digital Spy?\u201d Anyway they both seem lovely and charming so I will allow them one dullsville response on this otherwise delightful and articulate date.<\/p>\n Oh. Is that it? I know there was no sensuous touching \u2013 which would be a nine \u2013 but you both got on quite well? The 7.5 from Peter is particularly cutting. BUT it\u2019s worth remembering that a score isn\u2019t just about the person they\u2019re reviewing, but their own expectations too. Maybe Peter had been hoping to go home with his tonsils throbbing from a good going over. Or maybe he\u2019s knocked off half a point for the bread and chilli butter faux-pas. Nick\u2019s 8 is, I suppose, apposite and still carries a bit of hope, but it doesn\u2019t sound like they\u2019re gearing up for the romance of the century. I mean, at least it\u2019s not two threes, right?<\/p>\n Oh Peter. Oh Nick. But as you say \u2013 you never know.<\/p>\n To support my work and help keep the lights on, consider leaving me leave me a small tip on Ko-fi<\/a>.<\/p>\n Please do subscribe to my weekly newsletter, The truth about everything*<\/a><\/em>\u00a0\u2013 a lot of the content is free! And this week one subscriber will get a FREE advance copy of my next novel \u2013 which is brilliant, btw, I love it so much \u2013 MONTHS before it comes out! Try it!<\/p>\n The comments I make are based on answers given by participants. The Guardian chooses what to publish and usually edits answers to make the column work better on the page. Most things I say are riffing on the answers given and not judgements about the daters themselves, so please be kind to them in comments, replies, and generally on social media. Daters are under no obligation to get along for our benefit, or explain why they do, or don\u2019t, want to see each other again, so please try not to speculate or fill our feeds with hate. If you\u2019re one of the daters, <\/i>get in touch<\/a><\/em>\u00a0if you want to give me your side of the story.\u00a0What\u2019s your\u00a0favourite Sugababes song? If\u00a0it\u2019s \u2018In The\u00a0Middle\u2019 or \u2018About a Girl\u2019, please do not get in touch.<\/i><\/p>\n Nick and Peter ate at Hithe and Seek<\/a>, London EC4. Fancy a blind date? Email blind.date@theguardian.com<\/em><\/p>\n![\"Peter](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/Peter-and-Nick-full.png?ssl=1\")
<\/a>Peter<\/span> | Nick<\/span><\/h5>\n
What were you hoping for?
Interesting conversation and someone with a good sense of humour. And someone not from Hinge.<\/span><\/h5>\nA different kind of experience to a dating app date. Someone who made me laugh.<\/span><\/h5>\n
First impressions
An open smile and an engaging demeanour.<\/span><\/h5>\nGreat jumper, confident, handsome. He was a bit late, so when he arrived my first thought was: relief.<\/span><\/h5>\n
What did you talk about?
Sugababes. Rome \u2013 we\u2019d both been there this year. Our friends. Swimming. Dating.<\/span><\/h5>\nPop culture. Girl bands. Queer culture and the \u201cdrag race-ification\u201d of language. How we both think our therapists would be the best people to match us on a date. Cooking \u2013 he sounds like a great cook!<\/span><\/h5>\n
Most awkward moment?
When I said I thought moussaka was a Turkish dish. Peter is a Greek man \u2013 and was appalled.<\/span><\/h5>\nGood table manners?
Yes, exceptionally good.<\/span><\/h5>\nVery good. It was small plates so we shared everything \u2013 no awkward food moments at all.<\/span><\/h5>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nBest thing about Nick?
Nick was really present throughout the date. I felt they were really interested in our conversation and I enjoyed chatting with them. The whole date was relaxing and easy-going.<\/span><\/h5>\nBest thing about Peter?
He got the answer right to my best British girl group question: Sugababes. His confidence and humour were attractive qualities, too.<\/span><\/h5>\nINTERMISSION<\/span><\/h5>\n
Describe Nick in three words?
Warm, passionate and chatty.<\/span><\/h5>\n
PASSIONATE<\/strong>, like a lecture from a 13-year-old at the Christmas dinner table about why they\u2019re a vegetarian and why Doctor Who<\/em> is much more important than wherever bilge ITV are showing that day.
CHATTY<\/strong>, like that one person in the office who you suspect spends Christmas alone so will talk to you about anything perhaps in an attempt to store up enough socialising energy in reserve to last them through the holiday season. You feel sorry for them and it\u2019s very endearing, but you\u2019ve read the same line of this email fifteen times while they twat on about their favourite stapler and the state of the toilets in the office back in 2001.<\/p>\nDescribe Peter in three words.
Confident, creative, funny.<\/span><\/h5>\n
CREATIVE<\/strong>, like my excuses when asked if I have five minutes to answer some questions about spirituality by a wax-faced religion chugger on Wigmore Street.
FUNNY<\/strong>, like no joke in Ricky Gervais\u2019s entire set. (He was on Graham Norton<\/em> last night. Just hugely unpleasant, isn\u2019t he?)<\/p>\nWhat do you think Nick made of you?
Nick guessed that I\u2019m someone who wears an eye mask when I sleep. They weren\u2019t wrong.<\/span><\/h5>\n<\/a><\/p>\nWhat do you think Peter made of you?
That I was also quite confident, chatty and (hopefully) interesting \u2026 with good taste in noughties pop music.<\/span><\/h5>\nAnd \u2026 did you kiss?
Just on the cheek after I made a joke about how awkward first date tube station goodbyes are.<\/span><\/h5>\n<\/a><\/p>\nIf you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
I would\u2019ve ordered more of the bread. The chilli butter that came with it was a treat.<\/span><\/h5>\nI would have ordered more food.<\/span><\/h5>\n
Marks out of 10?
7.5.<\/span><\/h5>\n8.<\/span><\/h5>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nWould you meet again?
We swapped numbers. I didn\u2019t feel an immediate romantic spark with them, but you never know.<\/span><\/h5>\nI would, either for a second date or as friends.<\/span><\/h5>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nSomething to remember about the review and the daters that I put at the end of every post<\/h5>\n
Like this:<\/h3>\n