Yes, it\u2019s still January! The same year, 2023, that\u2019s right! As we head toward the vinegar strokes of one of the year\u2019s cruellest months, what better way to celebrate the incoming hero to that is, uh, February, than a date with two lovely lads like Adam and Bron.<\/p>\n Strangely current in their look and yet also could also very easily be the back-up comedy duo on \u201990s Saturday morning screamfest Live and Kicking<\/em>. If you live long enough, you get to see everything come back into fashion. According to their rap sheet, Adam (green trousers) is a 26-year-old assistant museum curator, and Bron (jacket!) is 29 and a news reporter.<\/p>\n Read what happened in full on the Guardian website<\/a> and then slink back here for the first incision.<\/p>\n \u2018A big messy fringe is always fun\u2019 \u2013 Adam is three Claudia Winklemans under a raincoat.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t blow your adjectival load so soon, Bron, you might need some later.<\/p>\n Living in other countries\/living in the US and Japan<\/strong> \u2013 \u2705<\/p>\n The strangeness of being queer when a lot of our straight friends are starting to reach those \u201csettled\u201d milestones like marriage, houses and kids<\/strong> \u2013 Interesting two gay men in their twenties are saying this when, aside from houses which nobody can afford unless they have rich parents, this stuff is very much available to them now. I suppose it\u2019s because straight people seem to drift into these milestones almost unknowingly, it feels like a natural progression, but for us, they still feel a little like activism. We know it\u2019s not \u2018the norm\u2019. Whether these barriers are actual physical obstacles or emotional ones I couldn\u2019t say, but as wonderful as these milestones are, historically they\u2019ve not been accessible and perhaps we have a lot of unresolved feelings to unlearn. The kids stuff really does get weird when the straight friends start to peel off and procreate, especially if you live in a big city and they suddenly migrate back to their hometowns or to boring dormitory villages so they can afford somewhere with a garden. I\u2019ve tried to explain this to friends and family who\u2019ve implored me to move somewhere smaller or nearer them etc, that it\u2019s only really here, in one of the biggest cities in the world, that I can feel safe, and be myself. Obviously there are LGBTQ+ people everywhere, living perfectly fulfilled and happy lives in smaller towns and villages, but on a personal level, I feel I\u2019d have to compromise something, hide part of myself away. Being an individual is not just about standing out in a crowd, it\u2019s the ability to be yourself and still, somehow, melt into one.<\/p>\n We didn\u2019t talk about star signs, which I\u2019m tempted to say is rare for London gays<\/strong> \u2013 I genuinely didn\u2019t know astrology was back and such a gay thing; I don\u2019t really bother with it. Mainly because my sign, Capricorn, is basically the miserable, penny-pinching uggo of the zodiac. Whoever came up with star signs had a personal vendetta against someone born late Dec\/early Jan and we should be told the truth.<\/p>\n Quick preview of the gag reflex \u2013 no bad thing.<\/p>\n Oh. Well. Never mind. We really should get rid of the idea of \u2018types\u2019. I know it\u2019s primal sometimes but, honestly, what if every guy who looks like your fantasy ideal is a massive knobhead? It happens. Anyway, Adam\u2019s very handsome so I assume Bron was saying, \u2018I like really ugly men\u2019 or something \u2013 at least I hope so!<\/p>\n One day I will leave a Mexican restaurant without pork pibil juice down my front.<\/p>\n All Bron\u2019s friends are bottoms?<\/p>\n Adam, later:<\/p>\n Energetic<\/strong>, like the lightbulb you can\u2019t actually afford to switch on. Worldly,<\/strong> like, erm, an atlas? Oh boys. No. Come on. What I wouldn\u2019t give to sprinkle a bit of fairy dust \u2013 hey, don\u2019t say it, only *I* can say it \u2013 and give my fellow rainbow crew who need it a little more confidence. We can spend our lives self-editing, assuming we\u2019re a burden, or boring, or too loud, or too bitchy or whatever \u2013 and sometimes we are, because everybody is \u2013 but we deserve our spotlight and even though I\u2019m not exactly going to be able to boil an egg from the heat of the sexual chemistry on this date, you both seem like lovely boys who I\u2019m sure are fascinating. So get out there and fascinate \u2013 and allow others to fascinate you.<\/p>\n Mind you, what did I say about chemistry, here\u2019s a slight turn:<\/p>\n Nooooo! Not cockblocked by a downward dog! It\u2019s too sad. On a gay date, please remember: clear the decks the next morning. You never know.<\/p>\n The correct score for a date that (apparently) went well but (allegedly) didn\u2019t involve tongues. Plus a dare I say \u2018cheeky\u2019 extra point-five from Bron, maybe to atone for the whole awkward moment thing or maybe he slipped the tip in or something, who can say?<\/p>\n Yay! Whatever happens, as your friends start to exit en masse to wherever the hell it is they\u2019re all moving to, someone new to hit the bars with is always welcome. Have one for me, guys.<\/p>\n Liked this? Excellent. It just so happens I\u2019m in the Guardian Saturday magazine this week<\/a>, with a very tongue-in-cheek, snarky, funny look at what it takes to be the perfect partner.<\/p>\n Obviously, like every middle-aged white man, I have a newsletter too, except mine is good. It\u2019s called\u00a0The truth about everything*<\/em>\u00a0and you can subscribe for free and get some good stuff, or become a paid subscriber and get some extras. Recent editions have delved into the bizarre mind of Adrian Chiles<\/a>, gone into granular detail about one of Madonna\u2019s most iconic songs<\/a>, and tried to work out whether The Last of Us<\/em> is actually any good<\/a>.![\"Adam](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/theguyliner.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/Adam-and-Bron-full.png?ssl=1\")
<\/a>Adam (left) on Bron<\/span> | Bron on Adam<\/span><\/h5>\n
First impressions?
I liked his jacket a lot, and a big messy fringe is always fun.<\/span><\/h5>\nFirst impressions?
Tall, cute, friendly.<\/span><\/h5>\nWhat did you talk about?
Living in other countries while at university. The strangeness of being queer when a lot of our straight friends are starting to reach those \u201csettled\u201d milestones like marriage, houses and kids. We didn\u2019t talk about star signs, which I\u2019m tempted to say is rare for London gays.<\/span><\/h5>\nLiving in the US and Japan. Gay socialising in London. Grindr and Hinge. The White Lotus.<\/span><\/h5>\n
Most awkward moment?
At one point, my cocktail went down the wrong way so I was struggling to look attentive while low-key choking.<\/span><\/h5>\nMost awkward moment?
As Adam arrived I was chatting with the restaurant host about what my preferred type of guy looked like \u2013 and I was not describing the man who walked into the conversation.<\/span><\/h5>\n<\/a><\/p>\nGood table manners?
Impeccable, considering we were sharing Mexican \u2013 hardly the easiest food to eat gracefully.<\/span><\/h5>\nI went home with a gnarly stain on my T-shirt, so I\u2019m ill-placed to judge.<\/span><\/h5>\n
Would you introduce Adam to your friends?
For sure. He\u2019d be well received.<\/span><\/h5>\n<\/a><\/p>\nDescribe Bron in three words.
Energetic, attentive, warm.<\/span><\/h5>\n
Attentive<\/strong>, like a waiter who saw all the fifties in your wallet when you put your cloakroom ticket away.
Warm<\/strong>, like a pool of sick is for about four minutes.<\/p>\nDescribe Adam in three words.
Worldly, interested, smiley.<\/span><\/h5>\n
Interested<\/strong>, like a baby who\u2019s never seen a zit before but has just spotted one on the end of your nose.
Smiley<\/strong>, like Carol Smillie, obviously.<\/p>\nWhat do you think they made of you?
He was good at asking me questions, so I wonder if I talked about myself too much.<\/span><\/h5>\nHe laughed at most of my jokes, so I guess either funny or pitiable.<\/span><\/h5>\n
Did you go on somewhere?
Sadly not, which was my fault for making early next-morning plans.<\/span><\/h5>\nSadly not \u2013 he had a yoga class the next morning.<\/span><\/h5>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nAnd \u2026 did you kiss?
Very briefly.<\/span><\/h5>\nYep! Just a peck.<\/span><\/h5>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nIf you could change one thing about the evening what would it be?
It would have definitely been nice to grab another drink.<\/span><\/h5>\nI would have cancelled his yoga class.<\/span><\/h5>\n
<\/a><\/p>\nMarks out of 10?
8.<\/span><\/h5>\n8.5.<\/span><\/h5>\n
Would you meet again?
Yes definitely.<\/span><\/h5>\nWe exchanged numbers and we\u2019re going on a queer night out.<\/span><\/h5>\n
More of my writing<\/h5>\n
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