{"id":950,"date":"2023-05-16T04:36:24","date_gmt":"2023-05-15T23:06:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/scotlandescort.co.uk\/blog\/why-theres-nothing-wrong-with-coffee-dates-4-practical-online-dating-tips\/"},"modified":"2023-05-16T04:36:24","modified_gmt":"2023-05-15T23:06:24","slug":"why-theres-nothing-wrong-with-coffee-dates-4-practical-online-dating-tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scotlandescort.co.uk\/blog\/why-theres-nothing-wrong-with-coffee-dates-4-practical-online-dating-tips\/","title":{"rendered":"Why there\u2019s nothing wrong with coffee dates: 4 practical online dating tips"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> [ad_1]<br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Let\u2019s imagine a scenario. You are enjoying a conversation with someone you\u2019ve met on a dating app. You guys are discussing where to have your first date. They suggest coffee.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">How would you respond?<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Some think coffee dates are cheap and low-effort; others think they are fine. But unfortunately, this is just one of many instances in the current era of online dating where we haven\u2019t quite figured out how to navigate.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Other areas of ambiguity and contention:<br \/>What is an appropriate first date?<br \/>How long should you chat before taking it to a face-to-face meetup?<br \/>Should you vet the person via a video call before meeting up?<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">In navigating this uncertain, confusing, and sometimes treacherous terrain of online dating and making your experience a lot more bearable, I share some tips on what has worked for me in my online dating experience.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\" wp-block-heading eplus-wrapper\">#1 Reduce the texting; take it to a face-to-face<\/h3>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Personally, a two-week window is just enough time to discern if the texting chemistry is going well enough that I\u2019d like to take it up a notch and meet in person.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">If one is uncomfortable meeting so soon, there are also phone or video call options. But ultimately, those options should ease into an in-person meeting at some point.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Why?<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Some people are amazing texters \u2013 confident and witty over text but utterly different in person. There is always room for preparation and editing with readers, less so when facing a living, breathing person and where interactions are spontaneous.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">In-person meetups also offer clues about someone technology can never replicate \u2013 body language, how they treat people around you, chemistry, and whether you both vibe.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Another purpose of the in-person meetup is that you weed out the \u201cforever-texters,\u201d those who have absolutely no intention of ever meeting up. They prefer spending so much time typing pages of text to conversing.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I consider these types to be relationship-avoidant and time-wasters who have little to no intention of ever making things severe.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\" wp-block-heading eplus-wrapper\">#2 Keep the first date quick and cheap (hence coffee)<\/h3>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">This serves two aims.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">It not only helps to lighten the atmosphere of date \u2013 which can be anxiety-inducing and stressful. But it also lets you get to know the person without the pressure of sitting through a long meal or event.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">When things aren\u2019t working out, a coffee date makes it easier to end the evening quickly and part ways. But if you are having a long dinner and your date is annoying, you are stuck with them; leaving is not as easy.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">There is also the cost issue; coffee dates are a lower financial investment, which may not feel so bad if the date turns out poorly.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\" wp-block-heading eplus-wrapper\">#3 Check your comfort levels and boundaries<\/h3>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I\u2019ve always made it a point to be wary of two things on dates \u2013 where I was being taken to and the topics they discussed. It is sometimes incredibly easy to be lulled into a false sense of comfort, especially if you have been vibing well with your date \u2013 some of them take advantage of that.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I\u2019ve had dates which seemed gentlemanly but would suggest meeting up late at night in poorly-lit areas and others who would bring up sexual topics barely 20 minutes into the date, despite saying they weren\u2019t looking for a hookup.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">It can feel difficult to leave situations like that, especially if you are in the middle of a meal (hence why coffee dates always work!). But what I\u2019ve found works is to call out the behavior and to tell them to stop.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">This may sound paranoid to some, but we do not know this person at all yet, so a degree of caution still needs to be exercised. We may vibe well with them, but they are still practically strangers.<\/p>\n<h3 class=\" wp-block-heading eplus-wrapper\">#4 If you aren\u2019t feeling it, don\u2019t force it<\/h3>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">I\u2019ve known people who went on dates with people they did not feel much attraction to but were doing it because the person was \u201cnice\u201d and they should like them. I think what is genuinely \u201cnice\u201d is to let the person know you aren\u2019t feeling the same way and free both of you to date other people who might be a better fit.<\/p>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">You can\u2019t force yourself to have feelings for others, and prolonging the date when you aren\u2019t vibing with someone will make you feel empty after a while.<\/p>\n<h2 class=\" wp-block-heading eplus-wrapper\">Conclusion<\/h2>\n<p class=\" eplus-wrapper\">Online dating is here to stay, and as we try to figure out what is acceptable dating behavior, we all can keep in mind a couple of things that will make our experiences more enjoyable and safe. It is also worth paying attention to our date\u2019s behavior and seeing if it aligns with what we seek in a partner.<\/p>\n<p><!-- MOLONGUI AUTHORSHIP PLUGIN 4.6.17 --><br \/>\n<!-- https:\/\/www.molongui.com\/authorship\/ --><\/p>\n<div id=\"mab-1921961373\" class=\"m-a-box \" data-plugin-release=\"4.6.17\" data-plugin-version=\"pro\" data-box-layout=\"stacked\" data-box-position=\"below\" data-multiauthor=\"false\" data-author-id=\"763\" data-author-type=\"user\" data-author-archived=\"\">\n<div class=\"m-a-box-container\">\n<div class=\"m-a-box-tab m-a-box-content m-a-box-profile\" data-profile-layout=\"layout-4\" data-author-ref=\"user-763\" itemscope=\"\" itemid=\"https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/author\/abstractedcollectivegmail-com\/\" itemtype=\"https:\/\/schema.org\/Person\">\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box-content-top --><\/p>\n<div class=\"m-a-box-content-middle\">\n<p>    <!-- Author picture --><\/p>\n<div class=\"m-a-box-item m-a-box-avatar\" data-source=\"local\">\n\t\t                <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"m-a-box-avatar-url\" href=\"https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/author\/abstractedcollectivegmail-com\/\" data-wpel-link=\"internal\"><br \/>\n                    <img loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"\" src=\"https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/gravatars\/04597ca0150a5b048406c745fc5a51f6\" srcset=\"https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/wp-content\/gravatars\/04597ca0150a5b048406c745fc5a51f6 2x\" class=\"avatar avatar-150 photo\" height=\"150\" width=\"150\" itemprop=\"image\" decoding=\"async\"\/>                <\/a>\n                \t<\/div>\n<p>    <!-- Author social --><\/p>\n<p>    <!-- Author data --><\/p>\n<div class=\"m-a-box-item m-a-box-data\">\n<p>        <!-- Author name --><\/p>\n<p>        <!-- Author metadata --><\/p>\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box-meta --><\/p>\n<p>        <!-- Author bio --><\/p>\n<div class=\"m-a-box-bio\" itemprop=\"description\">\n<p>Sonia Alonso is a researcher, writer and coach, with an MSc in Psychology and Mental Health from King&#8217;s College London. She helps curious, sensitive individuals regain their personal power and get closer to their dream lives through a unique combination of spiritual and psychological tools. She recently published a book, Breaking Up with Limerence. Her books and coaching services can be found at her site, abstractedcollective.com<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box-data --><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box-content-middle --><\/p>\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box-content-bottom -->        <\/div>\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box-profile --><\/p><\/div>\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box-container --><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><!-- End of .m-a-box --><\/div>\n<p>[ad_2]<br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/theurbandater.com\/online-dating\/why-theres-nothing-wrong-with-coffee-dates-4-practical-online-dating-tips.php\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[ad_1] Let\u2019s imagine a scenario. You are enjoying a conversation with someone you\u2019ve met on a dating app. You guys are discussing [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":951,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-950","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adult-dating"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.5 (Yoast SEO v27.7) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Why there\u2019s nothing wrong with coffee dates: 4 practical online dating tips - Scotlandescort.co.uk<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Let\u2019s imagine a scenario. 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